I believe deeply in the bond of Family Friends. I think they can be as or more important than Family. Family Friends are chosen, at least at first, and the relationships of the adults, and the adults to the children, and then the children to the other children, aren't obligatory.
I grew up without a lot of extended family in my life. My father was an only child whose parents passed away when he was a teenager. And we just didn't spend much time with my mom's family.
But I've never truly known the void because there are two other families in my life that I deem as close as any aunts, uncles, or cousins could be.
My parent's best friends from our very small town were my first adult influences besides my own parents. We have spent holidays, vacations, and entire summers together. We have attended births and weddings and funerals. Together, we have survived legal battles, health problems, and major life changes.
We are as family as family gets.
This weekend, the three families are getting together for a reunion of sorts. The first we've had in years where everyone will be in attendance. I am the youngest child of those original six adults, and now I am pregnant with my own child. Time marches on. Our family expands.
The Gorilla and I spend a lot of time wondering and predicting who those relationships will be for our children. Of course, our children will have a strong set of biological aunts and uncles, but they all live very far away. Who are our children going to call when they can't reach us after soccer practice? Who is going to be the hand that nonchalantly reaches out to wipe my child's nose as they run by? Who, in 30 years, are we going to be having summer reunions with?
I suspect we just don't know yet. Those kind of relationships can't be planned.
(I know I've used this photo before, but it is US. My family as I knew it growing up. Except for Pru, who is behind the camera. The second picture is the group, minus two adults and scores of the newest generation of children, at my wedding in September 2007. Photo credit to Rob Garland.)
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